Motherhood While Healing Your Inner Child Is a Strange Kind of Exhaustion

TL;DR

• Healing your inner child while raising children can feel emotionally overwhelming, exhausting, and deeply transformative all at once
• Many mothers silently carry fears about “messing up” their children while trying to break generational cycles and parent differently
• Motherhood often brings unresolved childhood wounds, fears, perfectionism, anxiety, and emotional triggers to the surface
• Growth in parenting does not come from perfection—it comes from awareness, repair, emotional honesty, and learning from mistakes
• Children do not need perfect parents; they need emotionally present parents willing to grow and reconnect after hard moments
• Parenting while healing can feel like living in two timelines at once: caring for your children while re-parenting yourself
• The emotional weight of motherhood often includes fear of the future, overthinking possibilities, and wanting to protect your children from pain
• Storytelling photography can preserve the real, emotional experience of motherhood—not just posed or perfect moments
• Alabaster Photos specializes in emotionally honest motherhood, family, maternity, and storytelling photography in New Richmond, Wisconsin and the St. Croix Valley
• Families in Hudson, Baldwin, River Falls, and surrounding Wisconsin communities can book heartfelt photography sessions focused on connection, healing, and authentic storytelling

On Fear, Growth, Breaking Cycles, and Trying to Raise Children While Relearning Yourself

There’s a particular kind of weight that comes with motherhood when you’re also trying to heal yourself at the same time.

Not just care for your children.

But actively unpack:

• your childhood
• your fears
• your patterns
• your nervous system
• your beliefs about worth, safety, love, and identity

While simultaneously trying to raise tiny humans in a healthier, softer, more connected way than you were raised yourself.

It’s beautiful.

And overwhelming.

And terrifying.

Sometimes all at once.

I Am Constantly Afraid of Screwing This Up

I don’t think people talk about that part enough.

The quiet fear underneath motherhood.

The constant wondering:

• Am I doing enough?
• Am I damaging them?
• Am I too emotional?
• Not emotional enough?
• Too soft?
• Too reactive?
• Too distracted?
• Too exhausted?

I think when you become aware of generational patterns and trauma, it becomes impossible not to notice your own humanity constantly.

And honestly?

That awareness can feel crushing sometimes.

Because now you see things.

You notice your reactions.
You notice your triggers.
You notice the moments you wish you’d handled differently.

And Yet, I Keep Telling My Girls Something Important

“It’s okay to make mistakes.”

I tell them that all the time.

Because it’s true.

Mistakes are human.

The real question is:

• What are we learning from them?
• How are we growing?
• Are we willing to repair?
• Are we willing to try again?

I want my daughters to know they do not need to be perfect to be loved.

And if I want them to believe that…

I have to learn how to believe it about myself too.

Healing While Parenting Feels Like Living in Two Timelines at Once

Part of me is fully in motherhood:

• packing lunches
• answering questions
• cuddling at bedtime
• managing emotions
• building memories

And another part of me is quietly revisiting my own childhood simultaneously.

Remembering things differently now.

Understanding things differently now.

Realizing how much children absorb emotionally, even when they don’t understand the full story.

Sometimes I Feel Blind and Hyperaware at the Same Time

That’s the hardest part to explain.

I feel blind because I can’t fully see the future.

I don’t know how every choice will impact my girls.
I don’t know how life will unfold.
I don’t know what moments will shape them forever.

And yet…

I also feel like I can see too many futures at once.

My brain plays out:

• every possibility
• every fear
• every outcome
• every “what if”

All at the same time.

It’s like standing in front of a thousand doors knowing you can only walk through one.

And motherhood doesn’t let you pause long enough to feel fully certain.

You just keep moving.

I Think Many Mothers Are Carrying More Than We Admit

Especially the mothers trying to break cycles.

The mothers trying to parent differently.

The mothers trying to stay emotionally present while healing wounds they never fully had space to process.

We are carrying:

• our children’s needs
• our younger selves
• our current responsibilities
• our hopes for the future
• our fear of repeating the past

That’s a heavy emotional load.

Even when it’s rooted in love.

But Maybe Awareness Is Part of the Healing

I don’t think good motherhood comes from never making mistakes.

I think it comes from:

• awareness
• repair
• honesty
• emotional safety
• willingness to grow

I think children need less perfection and more humanity.

They need to see:

• accountability
• softness
• resilience
• emotional honesty
• self-reflection

Because that teaches them they’re allowed to be human too.

Motherhood Has Forced Me to Meet Myself

There are parts of myself I probably never would have confronted if I hadn’t become a mother.

Motherhood has exposed:

• old fears
• survival mechanisms
• perfectionism
• anxiety
• unresolved grief
• tenderness I didn’t know I had

It has also shown me:

• how deeply I can love
• how fiercely I want to protect
• how badly I want my children to feel safe being themselves

This Is Why I’m Drawn to Storytelling Photography

Because I think mothers deserve to be seen too.

Not just as caregivers.

But as whole people.

Women carrying:

• history
• healing
• exhaustion
• hope
• fear
• love
• becoming

At Alabaster Photos, I’m drawn to photographing real motherhood.

Not perfect motherhood.

But emotionally honest motherhood.

The kind that says:
“I’m trying. I’m growing. I’m learning too.”

Maybe We’re Not Meant to Have All the Answers

Maybe motherhood is less about certainty…

and more about presence.

Showing up.
Repairing when needed.
Learning alongside our children.
Allowing ourselves to evolve.

Maybe our children don’t need us to know everything.

Maybe they just need us to keep trying with love.

To the Mothers Carrying Both Healing and Parenting

I see you.

The mothers:

• re-parenting themselves while parenting their children
• trying to break generational cycles
• terrified of getting it wrong
• exhausted by the emotional weight of awareness
• learning how to soften without losing themselves

You are not alone in this feeling.

And even in the uncertainty…

there is something deeply beautiful about choosing healing anyway.

Storytelling Motherhood Photography in New Richmond, Wisconsin

Alabaster Photos offers emotionally driven family, motherhood, maternity, and storytelling photography sessions designed to preserve connection, healing, and real life.

📍 Downtown New Richmond, Wisconsin
📸 Serving Hudson, Baldwin, River Falls, and the greater St. Croix Valley
🤍 Photography for mothers, families, and cycle breakers becoming who they were meant to be